Hello and welcome to Hatching Ideas, the crazy, spirit-driven space where all of my plans, big ideas, and wildest dreams reside. All for the glory of God, of course, because after all, every good idea comes from Him. I am simply here to say “yes” and bring you along!

GRATEFUL FOR WHERE WE ALL ARE

When the emotion welled up in my throat, I was caught by surprise. It’s not so much that my kids are growing up…but that we have made it through so much. In many ways, we have reached the other side. The other side of what?

Pain. Trauma. Fear. Unjust suffering. Nickelodeon.

And yet, in some ways, we are still finding our way out of the mess.

I am on the road, and so today’s newsletter is short and bittersweet…

PROMISE ME I WILL BE OKAY

This boy turns 20 years old on the day this girl graduates from college. Milestones our family gets to celebrate; milestones not taken for granted.

After the shooting at Sandy Hook, Annie’s bedtime ritual was…well…a lot. She had a list she would run me through; questions she needed answers to before closing her eyes. The most difficult being: promise me I will be okay? In a recent phone call, I shared with her how difficult it was to answer that one. I can hope, surely. But promise? We had already experienced the unthinkable. And anyway, none of us were okay.

She chose Scripture for her high school yearbook quote:

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One dog is on meds for a tick-borne illness; the other dog is licking the wood floors and bedding because he has an upset stomach, eight chickens have dirty butts, and one of the cats is using my office rug as the litter box.

Am I venting, or complaining? And is there a difference?

In Jesus’s Sermon on the Mount, we see the attitudes a Christian ought to have. A beautiful attitude is a kingdom characteristic, and in this morning’s coop chat, after a night of no sleep (because have you tried to sleep listening to a dog licking your entire bedroom?), I am not feeling like my attitude is beautiful and all I want to do is tell the world about all of the hard things, frustrating things, and annoying things currently happening in my life!

Okay friends. This is a short video because the one I made hours ago refused to uplaod. But go ahead and grab your cold brew and pet chicken, and get ready to join me in answering the question of the day:

Venting. Totally okay, or just a softer way to complain/gossip?

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Swinging the closet door open, fishing out linens, pulling shirts off hangers, removing trinkets from shelves, shoving them into a garbage bag, and running all of my excess over to Goodwill is, hands down, one of my favorite things to do. The urge to purge is frequent and strong. A life of simplicity cries out to the deepest parts of me. Creating a home that can be mistaken for a Carmelite cloistered cell sparks unspeakable joy. The desire to lose this world runs deep.

But equally thrilling is a trip to Anthropologie to spend money I do not have on everything I do not need, while sipping a $10 coffee that is more about how it makes me feel to walk around holding than how it actually tastes. Truth be told, I prefer the can of cold brew in my fridge back at home.

Oh, to live in this world and not be of it.

The greater the dive into the interior life, the greater the exterior struggle. The devil knows me well. His tricks and temptations go beyond instilling a desire for more stuff; it is the lie that I cannot be happy with what I have. It is the stamp of shame on my forehead, the indelible reminder that I am unable to give my children the things that others, without much care or thought, can freely give. This is why I need to immerse myself in daily holy things, saturate my mind with Scripture, and stay close to the Blessed Mother. Just because I know the truth doesn’t mean I don’t get fooled by the lie. “Be vigilant” ought to be our battle cry, and the enemy delights in making us forget.

It is our job to remember.

Do you know the way the enemy comes to sabotage your faith? Are you aware of the button he pushes, the lies that he whispers, so that he knocks you off the spiritual track? Have you identified the shiny thing he dangles before your weary eyes as he promises this is what you need to be happy, all you need is this, and you will be satisfied, reach for this, and you will be content?

Do you know what your “this” is?

As we prepare for Pentecost (yes, we must fervently prepare), spend some time meditating on the Lord’s commandments and ask Him to reveal the one you refuse to obey, the one you live as if it has nothing to do with you, the one you have never considered has been holding you in bondage. Do this, and you will have eyes to see the very thing the enemy uses to get you to choose the lies over truth, the wide over the narrow, fleeting happiness over eternal bliss.

This is the secret to being content in all things. You can enjoy pretty dresses. You can find delight in a scented candle and throw pillow. You can even splurge on that latte every once in a while. But love the commandments—love and desire God’s promises. Love to do His will.

The contentment you long for is not here. Set your heart where true joy abides.

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Hello and welcome to Hatching Ideas, the crazy, spirit-driven space where all of my plans, big ideas, and wildest dreams reside. All for the glory of God, of course, because after all, every good idea comes from Him. I am simply here to say “yes” and bring you along!

AWAKENING FROM THE DEATH OF WINTER

HAPPY MONTH OF MAY, FEAST OF SAINT JOSEPH THE WORKER, AND FIRST FRIDAY!

I mean, honestly? Can we imagine a greater, more beautiful day than today? A sweeter season than this?

Nope, we can’t.

The month of May, coined “May-cember” by frantic moms of littles, wrapping up school seasons with dreaded end-of-year concerts (or is that just me who didn’t enjoy listening to fourth graders blowing into a recorder?), class parties, teacher gifts, graduations, and First Holy Communions, is dedicated to the Blessed Virgin Mary. Why?

“For in this season, nature herself, awakening from the death of winter, doth put forth her fairest ornaments, adorning the earth with flowers of every hue, even as Holy Church doth array herself with devotions to honour the Mystical Rose.”1

With chicken feeders in both hands, and sun newly risen, I marveled (yes, truly, I did) at this morning’s symphony—God’s free concert (no recorders) and glorious song sung for me! The melody of chirps resounded, and the chicken’s trumpeting, as if announcing my arrival, hit me in an extra glorious way on this first day of May, as two wild ducks glided across the pond to the backdrop of sprouting green leaves and what appears to be today, a light blue sky—all a nod to Our Lady, whom even nature adores.

I have had Mary on my mind, contemplating hosting a Marian event of some sort, and/or consecration, either at my home or at my parish. I have hesitated to put this ball in motion because of that silly “May-cember.” Although traveling to speak is put on hold until the Fall, I will be traveling to Mississippi for my daughter’s college graduation, celebrating my son’s birthday in Nasville, and returning home to more leg surgery, wedding planning, an exciting meeting (stay tuned), integrating the new flock of chickens (it is a whole thing), my parents wedding Anniversary, writing and mentoring (which began this month and is pure joy!) and the four thousand self-imposed deadlines I have created in my mind.

And yet…despite all this, that nudging continues to…well…nudge. There is this vision I cannot shake…pale blue tablecloths, white flowers, rosaries, May cakes, coffee, and women…all coming together to love on each other and our Heavenly Mother. Would this add more work to my May plate? Absolutely. But let’s talk about work for a second, shall we?

THE NOBLE VIRTUE OF HUMAN LABOR

May 1st is the Feast of Saint Joseph the Worker, a memorial instituted in 1955 by the Venerable Pope Pius XXII, and the day we “pay tribute to the noble virtue of human labor.”2

From the very beginning, way back in the garden, God instructed man to “cultivate and care for” the primordial garden. We are all “tillers of the soil,” be it at an office desk, behind a podium, or at the kitchen sink. Everyone has been given a certain something to do, and when it is done for God, it becomes less about “work” and more a “sacred duty.” Saint Joseph models this so perfectly.

I admit, I don’t pay enough attention to this incredible spouse of Mary and Foster Father. For years, I have known in my head that I need to bring him into my tasks and pray for his intercession. My heart, sadly, has yet to receive this gentle man and Terror of Demons fully. I have consecrated myself to him two times, and neither of these “felt” like anything happened. And yet, as I punch out these words, his portrait is before me. And when I sit down to work, his image watches over me. And as I reflect on my “job,” the recent change, and the way the Lord has blessed what appeared to be an abrupt and weird departure (your words, not mine), I cannot help but believe that the peace and contentment I have finally found are in due part to Saint Joseph. Thanks to his example of keeping God as the goal of anything I write, speak, or dream of creating, it’s been all fruit and zero frustration.

Are you feeling frustrated by your work (or lack of work)? If so, hang on… I have your remedy. We are going to dive into that right after we talk about this…

PET REGRET AND THE THINGS WE DO TO AVOID SUFFERING

I counted. We officially have 25 pets. What’s wrong with us?

A mere couple of hours after assuring our kind friend from church, who has generously offered to watch our 25 pets while we are out of town, that our dogs sleep through the night, and are no bother…the dog got sick.

Really sick.

Like, “up every hour, diarrhea everywhere, can not walk,” sick. (My apologies if you are eating while reading this. I should have given a warning.) Poor Koda is on a bunch of meds for a tick-borne illness as we wait for further test results: poor us, no sleep, and another vet bill.

I regret the indoor pets.

There. I said it. I do. Don’t come at me, all you pet lovers. Hear me out.

I love my dogs and cats. I will cry my eyes out when they are gone, and most likely, will regret saying I regretted them. And while I may or may not have asked a friend to pray that my cat dies before May 7th (my husband is convinced that the cat will outlive us all), I am, at heart, an animal lover. I suppose it is not the dogs and cats I so much regret, but the reasoning for adopting them in the first place. We got them for the kids. The kids who begged for them. The kids who were afraid and needed a dog to protect them. The same kids who do not walk or feed them. The kids who moved out and got their own pets or have become official pet-haters. The kids who do not pay the vet bills, or take the sick dog out every five minutes between midnight and 5 AM.

Never get a pet for the kids. The end.

In my defense, however, the kids in this house went through some serious trauma, and comfort dogs became all the rage. And if you are a parent who has watched your child endure the worst-case scenario, you will bring anything into the house that could offer a little relief. A little regulation and normalcy. The hope that everything will be okay. Nothing says, “Our family is functioning great!” like a couple of dogs in the Christmas card photo.

(In my defense, I had no idea that one dog would have a love for peeing on the furniture, the other with severe anxiety, that the fluffy cat that sheds everywhere would have asthma and vomit hairballs 6 inches long, or that the other cat would have diabetes and pee and poop everywhere but the litter box. You can’t see any of this in the Christmas card photo.)

Do my pets bring joy? Sure, sometimes. They do. But have they eliminated my children’s suffering? Absolutely not. Because that is impossible, suffering is necessary for salvation, and there is no life without it. Pets are not people, nor are they a substitute for the healing only God can provide. Adding another pet in the hopes that it will make people happy for more than 24 hours is like believing getting bangs will solve all your problems. It’s all distraction, and distraction is fleeting. And bangs look good on very few people over 8.

All that said…I still want a goat.

Okay, shall we get onto the good stuff?

OUR GUIDING VERSE HIT ME LIKE A BRICK BETWEEN THE EYES (THE SAME EYE PECKED BY MY CHICKEN)

From today’s Introit (I rarely get past the Introit!):

Unless the Lord build the house, they labor in vain who build it. —Psalm 127:1

There’s a common cry of a woman’s heart (at least the women I encounter) that goes like this: “I don’t know what I am supposed to do.” I have talked with countless talented, thoughtful, amazing, and gifted daughters of God who say they have no idea what their gifting is, they have zero direction, they feel lost and purposeless, and have yet to discover their calling—that one special thing the Lord has written their name upon. The result?

FRUSTRATION. Let’s talk about this. Because I have the solution.

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How do you stay present to God?

Are you aware of the activities and occasions that cause you to withdraw from His presence?

Does “constant companionship” with God feel like something reserved for those who live in solitude, but impossible for you?

Where do you find your happiness?

Do you know how to find Jesus within you? Within others?

Wednesday morning, coming in hot with all the questions as I finally sit down to prayerfully complete my book proposal, all about mental prayer, the interior life, and chickens…naturally.

The practice of mental prayer, which has created a cloistered cell within me, enabling me to find true contentment no matter the task or circumstance, has radically transformed my life. Yes, daily Scripture is essential. Yes, praying a daily rosary will bring you closer to God. Yes, frequenting the sacraments will change you. But without mental prayer, every one of these has the potential to become mechanical, rote, just a box to check and a prayer to get through.

Mental prayer has taught me that it is not about getting through the rosary, Bible study lesson, or prayer, but about getting into them. One prayerful decade is better than five rushed mysteries. One well-considered Bible study question is better than racing through ten of them. One line of the Our Father prayed from the heart is better than reciting the prayer in its entirety with thoughtless lips. But to reach this awareness, we need to learn to quiet the soul and sit in the presence of God. We need to resist achieving (about us) and embrace receiving (about God).

And this is not easy.

The day I began my never-ending journey to this intimacy with God was the day everything changed. And I mean, everything. The way I pray, interact with God, engage with others, see my circumstances, go through my day, make decisions, love myself, and view my sufferings. And it just so happened that this deep dive into the contemplative life, and what it means to have a soul in constant contact with the Lord, coincided with my decision to build a coop and keep chickens.

None of this was a coincidence.

In short, what I have learned is that it is possible to live a contemplative life in a chaotic world. It is possible to lose ourselves so completely in God that even in suffering, we are at peace. It is possible to view everything that happens (especially the difficult things) as God’s Providence; as for our ultimate good. It is possible to remain “cooped up” with God when life pulls us down the drain.

This is what I am writing about. This is the theme of my next long-awaited and way overdue book.

And Rulers of the Roost, I need your help.

This morning’s coop chat comes with lots of questions, thoughts, ideas, and some awesome chicken cameo appearances (my girls love the camera)! Because you have graciously invested in me, it only makes sense that I put you to work, so buckle up, Rulers, you are about to enter into the creative writing process, whether you like it or not!

As for the rest of my generous subscribers, do not fear, little flock! Today’s private coop-chat does not replace your weekly coop-chat! I’ve got you covered, and we have plenty to talk about. However, if you are suddenly experiencing FOMO and want to join the Rulers of the Roost conversations, you can upgrade your subscription at any time. We would be happy to have you. There is always room on the roost!

Okay…on to the crazy coop ramble where my hair is never brushed, my complexion is rough, and the chickens never disappoint! (Warning: I look like the rooster pictured above!)

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Yesterday was a good day, and so I had to wonder, as I settled into bed and turned off the light, “Why am I suddenly sad?”

I took a quick stroll through my mind, revisiting every action, interaction, the things I saw, heard, and felt, the people I encountered, and the ones I pretended not to see. I considered everything, no matter how great or insignificant, that shaped my thoughts and words, that brought rest or restlessness; things that lifted me and the other things that brought me low. Like a detective, I played the day in reverse, searching for clues, turning every moment over and noticing a shift in my mood, a quickening of the heart, the negative self-talk, the focus on self. And with pinpoint precision, and the Spirit’s guiding light, I was able to uncover the moment everything shifted; in a word, when and where the enemy struck, causing me to step off steady ground and take my eyes off the cross.

Forgive me, Lord, and thank you for your endless mercy. Never permit me to leave your presence again.

Keeping in contact with God is easy in the wee hours of the day, when there are no people around, the Bible is open, the candle is lit, and the coffee is fresh. But once the day comes alive, and creatures wake up, phones are in hand, and conversations unfold, our ability to see God in it all—in every task and every friendly (or not-so-friendly) face we encounter —becomes a challenge.

The reason, you know, for feeling anything less than good on a seemingly good day; for not seeing God’s hands in the trial, or seeing others as anything less than made in His image, is that we have allowed our eyes to land on something other than Him, and taken our weak, and tempted hearts along for the ride. We have stationed ourselves at the feet of creatures, at this fleeting, material world, instead of the feet of Jesus. It’s no wonder we are sad.

The remedy, you ask?

We must cultivate a life of deep, interior prayer.

Are you in the practice of making a daily examination?

Do you know the obstacles that hinder you from staying focused on God?

Are you aware of His constant presence, or is your mind easily pulled elsewhere?

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With dog leash in hand and a rough stone in the other, I did as the priest instructed: I cast it away.

The stone. Not the dog.

Years ago, in reparation for my sins and in fulfillment of my promise to amend my life, the penance given was prayer with action. “Pick up a rock, say a prayer, and throw it —your sin—away.”

“Cast all your anxieties on him, for he cares about you.” (1 Peter 5:7)

Up until that odd yet effective penance, casting my cares sounded like a gentle toss; a careful placing or setting down. But after a deep dive into the meaning of the word “cast,” I realized I had this verse all wrong.

As it turns out, the word translated as “cast” comes from the Greek verb “epiripto,” which “highlights a decisive, intentional act of shifting a burden from one place to another—figuratively or literally—so that the object no longer rests on the original bearer.”1 It is a literal flinging of something troubling and heavy onto someone else’s shoulders.

If you woke to the familiar weight of anxiety, and casting your cares sounds more like motivational mumbo jumbo than a life-saving command, perhaps this will help: the lesser-known verse that comes before the one we think we know :

“Humble yourselves therefore under the mighty hand of God, that in due time he may exalt you. (1 Peter 5:6)

Ah…another word for us. Humility.

According to Peter, before we cast or relinquish our cares, we must humble ourselves and lay pride aside. We must choose to be other-centered and to operate every moment of our lives under the understanding that we are nothing without God. This, you know, is the key to all relationships, most especially to our relationship with God: humility.

So you see, Peter’s command is more than a “toss your stress on over to Jesus, and all will be well!” It is a promise: humble yourself first, choose the low place, serve others, be okay when you are ignored, accept your littleness; do all this for Jesus’s sake, and then you will have less to worry about. Humble yourself under the mighty hand of God, and then go on and cast your anxieties upon Him. Lose the pride and intentionally throw what you were never meant to carry off from your shoulders and onto His, and see how light you become!

What are you shouldering that is meant for God’s shoulders?

Where is pride keeping you from living free of anxiety?

What are you holding onto that is meant to be cast, relinquished, thrown far away?

Hello and welcome to Hatching Ideas, the crazy, spirit-driven space where all of my plans, big ideas, and wildest dreams reside. All for the glory of God, of course, because after all, every good idea comes from Him. I am simply here to say “yes” and bring you along!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!

Hello, fifty-six.

Last night, over margaritas and a bowl of guac, two girlfriends and I talked about age and time. One shared regret: “I thought I would have accomplished more by now.” The other shared…well…Actually, I don’t remember what she shared (I only had one margarita, I swear). As for me?

Come on in, fifty-six. I am glad you are here.

The more I seek union with God, the more I realize that I have lived most of my life in a state of panic and stress, fear and anxiety, wondering when the next shoe will drop. Don’t get me wrong, shoes still drop, and shoes will continue to drop so long as there are feet around me. However, at 56, not every shoe is mine to pick up. People have grown and are capable of picking up their own stinking shoe. This is the beauty of getting older and taking your spiritual life seriously…you get wiser. You set boundaries. You release the control. You don’t care about the things you used to obsess over. Not because you have given up, or let yourself go, but because you woke up and realized I am not the Savior. Because you, at long last, live the trust you have gotten so good at preaching about.

I let go of a lot this past year.

I let go of wearing other people’s feelings as if they were mine. I let go of claiming responsibility over things that do not belong to me. I let go of trying to control the outcome. I let go of perfectionism. I let go of doubt in my gifts and the lie that I am not good enough. I let go of washing my hair every day. Every day, the grip has loosened. Every day, my soul has quieted a little bit more.

My soul is brighter, and my hair looks better dirty. Go figure.

FREEDOM

What does 56 feel like? It feels like freedom. But make no mistake, I didn’t wake up feeling this way; I worked for this. For years, I have been under the guidance of a spiritual director who has helped deepen my prayer life and pushed me to do hard things, sometimes painful. I have reacquainted myself with “Little Laura,” whom, after years of unknown buried shame and unworthiness, I have learned to love.

Everything flows from our childhood wounds, you know.

The people who stick like thorns in our adult sides most often remind us of a childhood relationship that hurt us, that didn’t love us well, that planted the seed of not enough. We need to go back. We need to remember. Not to dwell for dwelling’s sake, but to heal. To invite God into that place and allow His love and mercy to flood every square inch of it. To see that He was right there all along.

It is powerful to go back to a memory and look for Jesus. To see the Blessed Mother standing in that very place. To know that you have never been, and will never be, alone, despite those times we feel unseen.

So yeah. 56 feels like freedom.

56 LOOKS LIKE FLYING

The Lord has invited me to get to work on my next book. No more talking about it, but actually writing it. What will it be about? Chickens, of course. But not just chickens…more like the interior spiritual lessons I have gained from tending to these little feathered, eye-pecking creatures. People have commented that they see my joy since I got myself some chickens, and perhaps they should get chickens as well. Of course, I say yes to everyone getting chickens; however, the joy comes from a deeper place. Because chickens are work. If you want healthy birds, they require a lot of cleaning, tending, and caring. In a word: time. An intentional presence. It is amazing…a bird can fall ill right in front of you. An injury can happen right before your eyes. But if you are not there to see it, you miss it, and a missed illness or injury can mean a sudden death.

I have “missed” a lot in my life due to distraction. Not anymore.

The chickens have slowed me down, got me paying attention to less of me and my temporary issues and more of God’s creation. The coop has become a backyard monastery that I can retreat to when the noise of the world drowns out the voice of God. The joy you see is not so much about the chickens, but God, seeking Him and finding Him in what might appear as the least likely of places. The joy has been union with God and the release of so much of what had me in chains. And in this joy, I have been set free.

55 WAS THE BEST YEAR BECAUSE IT MANY WAYS IT SUCKED

Okay, enough about chickens, let’s talk turkey.

A lot went down this past year, and pretending as if nothing happened is ridiculous. Let’s go there, shall we?

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When a chicken pecks you directly in the eye after preaching at a Catholic conference, the natural response is “The devil. Spiritual warfare. I am under attack.” And I am not saying spiritual warfare isn’t a thing—I wrote an entire book on the spiritual battle. But what I am thinking is this…

What if we looked at life through a new lens?

What if the tragedy, crisis, change in plans, painful situations, and unpleasant circumstances are not so much about the enemy’s attack, but God’s provision?

Scripture gives us plenty of examples of times that looked bleak and hopeless, only to discover that, hey, God was in this all along! This was a part of His good plan for me!

Genesis 50:20: “As for you, you meant evil against me; but God meant it for good, to bring it about that many people should be kept alive, as they are today.”

Romans 8:28: “We know that in everything God works for good with those who love him, who are called according to his purpose.”

Acts 3:13-15, 18: Peter explains that the evil act of killing Jesus fulfilled God’s plan to bring salvation.

2 Corinthians 4:17 highlights that light and momentary troubles are achieving for believers an eternal glory that far outweighs them all.

Isaiah 55:8-9 suggests that God’s ways and thoughts are higher than human understanding, allowing Him to work through difficult situations.

Grab a cup of coffee and settle in for a few minutes…this is what the chickens and I are talking about in this morning’s video edition of Coop Chat!

*video content warning: God may or may not have invited me to sit in chicken poop.

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The chicken peck in the eye was unexpected upon my return, but life is like that. My initial response was, Why, Lord, why? I have so many fun projects I could not wait to jump on today, and 'chicken beak in the eye’ was not one of them! Recalling I had been given holy water from Lourdes, I doused my left eye before a trip to Urgent Care. According to the doctor, it was his first-ever chicken peck in a patient's eye. So I have got that going for me. He asked if the chicken pecked me with its beak. I said, “No, doctor, she was holding a knife.”

Yes, of course. It was her beak.

This all went down within six hours of my being home from speaking at the Flourish conference. Re-entry is never easy. Stepping out of everyday life to work on your relationship with God comes with its fair share of combat. Writing and speaking about Jesus and Mary come with their own special kind of spiritual attack. I am no stranger to this. The beak in the eye, however, was a first. Well done, Satan. Didn’t see that one coming.

But I wonder… was this an attack from the enemy or an invitation from God?

Because my soul longs for the quiet, and as powerful as a women’s conference may be, if there is no silence, all that “power” disappears pretty quickly. The minute you walk into your home and notice the things that nobody else noticed and apparently survived just fine…things like the dog with a raging ear infection, the bathmat left to rot in the washer, the dead flowers on the dining room table…well then, the “Jesus high” that had you raising and praising your hands a mere 24 hours ago is packed up and gone. Why? Because “highs” don’t last. “Highs” don’t have roots. “Highs” are quick shots of emotion that come and go as fast as a chicken pecks you in the eye. Which for the record, is super fast.

And so I wonder if the beak attack was less about the enemy taking me out of the game, and more about God inviting me back into the place I hear Him best. When God speaks in the silence of my heart, His words are grafted, and a way is made for interior transformation. This is what I am after. This is what I crave. As a writer, I need more than a “Jesus high.” I need Jesus sobriety. I need to know that he is here, with me, when the music stops, the applause dies down, and the crowd goes home.

But the truth is, we all need more than a come-and-go feeling, for we are all disciples of Jesus. Our words do not need to be published or preached from a stage, to hold weight—we are all called to spread the Good News, to share the good things the Lord has done. And so we all need the silence.

“In order to speak the Word, you need to receive it in silence. Without silence, you cannot hear the Word. Silence for a writer is absolutely essential.”—Professor Anthony Lilles1

Because life is noisy and my monkey mind is always working, I wake up early, light a candle, and inhale and exhale, recognizing that God gives every breath. I break open the gospels and slowly read, pausing when a word or verse hits me. And then, I remain there in that word. And Jesus speaks to my heart, and I speak to Him, and sometimes I feel something, sometimes I feel nothing, but this prayer is not based on emotion. I remain, regardless of how I feel, because I know that when I am in His presence, interior transformation is unavoidable; when I meet Him in the quiet, He will speak lasting words to my heart.

Do you know the quiet? Do you seek the silence? Have you come down from your Jesus high? If so, I have a suggestion:

Shut down the noise, break open the Scriptures, and let the Lord speak so that you can hear. You have all that you need to deepen your relationship with the Lord. “Let the words of Sacred Scripture become the language of your heart.”

There's a profound sense of contentment when you choose to live your life for God. And this is big for me, and I am guessing you, too, because who doesn’t want to feel secure in this life?

Perhaps our greatest hindrance to living a life that doesn’t feel like we are in constant danger is our tendency to place our hope in false idols—things, people, circumstances. “Those who choose another god multiply their sorrows.” (Psalm 16:4) And is this not what happened to Eve when she took the first, and last, delicious bite?

Just one bite. And everything changed. One bite that planted the original lie in her and in all women: we are not worthy of protection.

As the Lord continues to break the chains that have fastened me to false idols, toxic relationships, and the lie that I am not worthy of protection, the path before me, the one He calls me to walk, “the lines that have fallen for me in pleasant places”, don’t necessarily become clear or easy, but safe. I can choose it, despite not knowing where it leads, because I trust Him. Because I have no good apart from Him. Because He holds my lot.

“Therefore my heart is glad, and my soul rejoices; my body also dwells secure.” (Psalm 16:9)

The Lord, indeed, will show us the path of life, but this “showing” requires sitting in His presence, taking refuge in Him, choosing Him as our portion, and keeping Him ever before us. When we do this, we are promised fullness of life and pleasures forevermore.

If you lack trust and security today, if you are weighed down by sorrow, get quiet with the Lord and ask Him: Who or what have I made my god?

Remember, He holds your lot. No one else. And taking “just one bite” is never worth it.

Hello and welcome to Hatching Ideas, the crazy, spirit-driven space where all of my plans, big ideas, and wildest dreams reside. All for the glory of God, of course, because after all, every good idea comes from Him. I am simply here to say “yes” and bring you along!

FLOURISH 2026

As you read this, I am already on my way to the airport for an early flight to St. Louis to speak at the Walking with Purpose Conference on Spiritual Motherhood this weekend. This entire week has been all about this talk, and praying for everyone involved in what I know will be a Spirit-led few days. Please keep us all in your prayers, and if you are attending, I can not wait to see you for a Words & Birds meet-up Saturday night! Check the chat thread to see when and where we are meeting.

If we have never met in person, FYI…

I am shorter than you think.

I wear the same thing everywhere I go.

I do not get manicures for these things, and the minute I see your perfectly painted nails, I regret my decision.

I wear sneakers with everything.

My curling iron broke, and so I will just be drying my hair and doing nothing fancy, and I feel like a Carmelite Sister with this incredible sacrifice.

I used to really care about how I looked and what I wore for these events. Now I just pray not to look homeless.

SLOWLY INTEGRATING

It was a big week for the chicks, too, as they took short field trips to the big chicken coop for a half hour of outdoor time. The big chickens can’t get to them; they can only see them… they are all doing a great job!

MY LIFE IN PICTURES BECAUSE MY CAR SERVICE PICKS ME UP AT 5:45 AM AND I NEED TO GET TO SLEEP AND NOT STAY UP AND WRITE

And so I leave you this week with photos of my life lately and promise to be more present next week. In fact…I cannot wait for next week to dive into mentorship, send you some fun happy mail, get started on my book, and share all the crazy happenings around me!!

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Hello from the coop!

It has been a week.

Lots of spiritual warfare. Loads of desolation. And God be praised for all of it because the peace and joy I have right now (which could disappear before I shower) is so much better after experiencing the darkness!

There is a lot on my mind and stirring my heart; I'm excited to give my talk this Saturday at Flourish, but also eager to get started on mentorship and writing my book, for which I plan to complete the proposal and send it to my editor next week. My friends, it is really true…obey God, do as He says, follow Him even when you are confident He has no idea what He is doing, because when you do…PEACE FLOODS YOUR SOUL. The Holy Spirit moves, and amazing things happen.

Okay, so…imprinting, and God’s love is what’s on my heart…let’s talk about that, shall we? Don’t mind the pajama pants, no makeup, and unbrushed hair…you know how these morning videos roll…

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Will I lose subscribers if I tell you my dog sees demons?

We are going on two nights in a row. As soon as we get into bed, she begins to tremble, pant, and pace, finally making her way to bed and standing on my head. A call to the vet is on today’s agenda, but honestly? I think she’s seeing something. I was told that dogs are very in tune with the spiritual realm, and always, days before I speak at a Conference, things happen. In any case, I slept a solid four hours and ate five heaping handfuls of jelly beans at midnight because I was awake and they were there, and so yes, I am feeling great, alert, super healthy, and on top of my game this morning.

Taming my imagination and focusing on God in morning prayer is hard enough after a good night’s sleep. Today, with eyes half shut and sugar coursing through my veins, it is extra challenging. But prayer doesn’t have to be three hours of ecstasy. Prayer doesn’t have to be five devotionals, the Mass reading, a full rosary, and the Angelus on my knees. I mean, I am not saying I would love that; however, realistically speaking, with what is happening in my week, mind, and on my head all night, a few drops of devotion will be more than pleasing to God, who is just so thrilled that his daughter with the possessed dog and easter candy binge still showed up.

I share this, not for sympathy or advice, but to remind you that prayer need not look lofty or extensive—especially if it doesn’t put you in contact with God. We can remember the “routine” but forget the goal. Union with God is what we are after: an intimate conversation of the heart. Sometimes (dare I say most of the time) less is more. Often, it is when we come to the end of our resources that we at last step aside and let God lead, who never forces us to take big gulps but offers small sips.

“Like birds, who, when they drink, bend their heads towards the water, take a few drops, and raising their beaks toward the sky, swallow gradually, and then begin again, let us also bend our heads toward the devout book to gather a few drops of devotion, and then let us raise them to God…”1

I gave up praying novenas because I realized I wasn’t praying them. I was reciting them, getting them done, and putting a check next to their name on my rule of life. This is why I didn't follow through this Lent with The Great Fast morning prayers—I was saying them and not praying them. And so I have quit vocal prayer (for the moment) and am going back to the basics: spending more time in the quiet presence of God, acknowledging who He is and who I am before Him. When I realize this—that I am “before the One whom the angels tremble” then I will dare open my mouth.

Saint Teresa of Avila said:

“The most important thing is always to be attentive to God. Especially when we are saying prayers of some length, it is almost impossible to give our attention to the meaning of all the words. Still, it is always possible to keep ourselves in the presence of God while reciting them.”1”

Are your vocal prayers sounding like a mechanical recitation? Are you getting the prayers done but experiencing zero movement of the heart? Are your words moving your soul towards God, or wearying it?

Vocal prayer is important, but if it's become a formula—the things you say to get the things you desire from God— stop saying them. Not forever, but at least for today. Instead, practice being in God's presence. Work on directing your heart towards Him. Realize who it is you come before. It has been my experience that the less I say, the greater my interior devotion.

And that’s what we are after, after all.

Hello and welcome to Hatching Ideas, the crazy, spirit-driven space where all of my plans, big ideas, and wildest dreams reside. All for the glory of God, of course, because after all, every good idea comes from Him. I am simply here to say “yes” and bring you along!

ROOM ON THE ROOST

There are many new subscribers to Words & Birds, and to that I say, thanks be to God, and…hop on a roost, get cozy, and stay awhile! I am all for integrating new birds into the flock!

Everyone here enjoys “Monday motivation” posts, weekly musings, a generous portion of this weekly Friday newsletter (sorry, but the personal stuff is protected behind a paywall), and the occasional chat thread. And if the good Lord prompted you to support my work as a paid subscriber (the eggs are free, but the chickens aren’t!), then you can expect weekly videos, known as “Coop Chats,” monthly Zoom/Talk and Conversation (this is new, launching in May…stay tuned!), personal chats, the full newsletter, and when it comes to announcements, new projects, and opportunites for invidivial mentorship, you, sweet friends, are at the top of the pecking order! No matter how you subscribed, I am beyond grateful—truly—and I pray you find this space refreshing, encouraging, thoughtful, and hilarious, and that the words you read lead you to find Jesus in the quiet. There is enough noise out there. The coop is for finding the silence.

Speaking of noise…

MY FAMILY IS A BUNCH OF WILD PARTY ANIMALS

Let me begin by saying, this is not a complaint, just an observation.

I am blessed to have a large family that is centered around Jesus, loves to get together, and takes bringing back the Alleluia seriously! But I have to admit—I turn 56 years old in two weeks, and my body is starting to feel more like 86. I am the house cleaner, grocery shopper, chef, and home decorator, and if Easter prep didn’t nearly kill me, Easter Sunday did. It’s a lot on my feet, and an enormous exercise in staying focused on what matters. Getting chicks in the midst of this, no matter how adorable, didn’t help ease the workload.

The good news about hosting every holiday is that it's teaching me to let go and simplify. Plastic plates are slowly replacing fine china. Washing floors that are about to be stepped on by thirty people no longer feels necessary. Dessert from Costco tastes just as good as homemade (maybe better), and those family dynamics I am used to taking on as my personal mission to iron out are a task I have joyfully handed over to the Lord. I am also super grateful for the Lord’s more than a nudge on Good Friday to step away from the to-do list and spend the day with Him, in the church, where I belonged. He is the only item on the Good Friday to-do list, as far as I am concerned. Actually, He is number one on that list every day. At least He should be.

In case you are wondering, my family stayed until 1 AM, and part of me thinks, “Aren’t you people tired?” but the other part of me…the more grateful, virtuous, and generous part…thinks, “God be praised, what a gift!” I love these people fiercely, and if ever there is a day to party into the morning, it would be the day our Lord and Savior resurrected from the dead, destroyed death, and made a way for us to avoid Hell and live with Him forever in heaven! I am aware that my home and people will not always look this way. Life changes on a dime. So I’ll take it, all of it, tired feet and all. And guess what….

WE ARE STILL FEASTING

At least, we ought to be.

There’s been much internet talk about Easter feelings, hidden transformations, battling post-holiday blues, and did my heart really change? And I have been praying about this. To be honest…this is not my experience this Easter. I do not see my Lenten “failures” as failures because, to put it simply, they are not. Nor are yours. The goal of Lent and life is not to get it all right, but to love well. To grow in virtue and humility. To recognize our disordered attachments and do our best, with God’s grace, to order them rightly. If we focus on what we got wrong, dare I point out that it is pride? Rather than looking at your crappy attempt at fasting, or your half-prayed rosary (or the everyday rosary you mindlessly raced through to cross it off the list), look at Jesus…look at Him, fall to your knees and cry, “Wow…I really need you, don’t I?”

This life is one long journey to God. So long as your journey is leading to Him, you are where you are supposed to be, regardless of your feelings, emotions, or expected transformation. If you are showing up daily, examining your conscience, living a sacramental life, rooting out sin, and spending quiet time with the Lord, you are on the right path, and trust me…you are being transformed.

And if you are not doing these things… well… perhaps my next announcement is for you…

INDIVIDUAL MENTORSHIP OPENS TODAY

If you catch yourself saying things like…

I don’t know how to pray. My life is so scattered. I feel anxious and overwhelmed. I desire the quiet, but everything feels like a fire drill. I can’t find a spiritual director. I don’t finish anything I start. I don’t even know what my idols and obstacles are. It’s all up to me. I want peace. Why do I feel so stuck in the spiritual life? I want to live an abundant life, but I don’t know how…this invitation is for you!

I have prayed long and hard on this one, and the Lord continues to make it clear: Women don’t need more therapy; they need mentorship. Women don’t need more self-care; they need boundaries. Women don’t need more activity; they need rest. Women don’t need more advice; they need solid, spiritual encouragement.

This is where I come in.

I have been blessed with excellent mentorship, and it has radically changed my life. I want to do the same for you. I want to walk alongside you, gently guiding you in what I know to be the only direction to go in. Different from spiritual direction or therapy, let me tell you how this works, what it will cost, and what you can expect…and have I mentioned, I am so freaking excited about this!?

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I know you are dying to know…

What did I name my new flock of chicks?

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Happy Easter!

Coming to you from a cold morning in the coop to talk a little bit about what is on my heart, and maybe yours, too.

I have been thinking a lot about how we have so many resources to help us walk through Lent, but what about the Octave of Easter? What about Eastertide? Fifty days of joy sounds great in theory, but if I am being honest…who can remain joyful for that long? And why the letdown in the first place?

Well, I have a theory about why we might be feeling emotions other than joy… as well as some ideas to help us walk through Eastertide as Easter people!

So, let’s chat, shall we?

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Helium balloons and ice cream cones—both fun things for children, in theory. Because when the balloon flies away, and the ice cream falls off the cone, unbridled joy can quickly transform into an inconsolable meltdown.

But the Easter egg hunt? That’s a potential disappointment on a whole new level.

Lent is not a forty-day egg hunt, but we can approach it that way. Through our mortifications and prayers, we set out to find the most joy Easter morning can deliver. We have our Sunday best ironed and ready, mantles are decorated with daffodils, ribbons are tied around pastel wicker baskets overflowing with bunnies and sugary treats. We wake up to a symphony of bells as the glorious Alleluia returns, and we settle into the pew, breathing in the fragrance of incense, trying our best to be present, digging deep for that resurrection joy, but all the while wondering…

Why am I still so depressed?

Lent may be over, but the search for God continues. Rooting out habitual sin and seeking deeper intimacy with Him is not a forty-day plan, but a way of life. Yes, the stone has been rolled away, and Jesus is risen. Yes, we have awakened to many faults and overcome so much. But the human soul has more than one stone. Habitual sin remains a battle. We have died to some but not all. There is more work to be done.

And this is good news. This means we are on the right track. This shows that we know this earth and all its temporary comforts are not our home. Spiritual growth has occurred.

But growth always comes with pain. And most of us? Well, we had hoped this journey to the heart of God meant the pain would be removed, the suffering gone. Secretly, we expected to feel better because of all we had done.

If you have begun this Easter season surprisingly sorrowful, perhaps you are preoccupied with the feeling you hoped to have as you finished the race, rather than the joy of continuing the search and chasing after the Lord. After all, this was never about what we were doing, but about what He has already done. What He continues to do. What he desires to keep doing in your heart. It is about Him. So quit peering into that empty tomb. He is not there. Do not turn back to the old, but run ahead to the new. Spoiler alert: the race is not over.

Every year, Easter marks a time of renewal in our spiritual life, in our search for God; every year we re-ascend the path toward Him in novitate vitae, in newness of life (Romans 6:4).1

If you woke up on Easter to an unmoved stone, do not be discouraged. Instead, pray for the grace that only God can give to roll it away. And then…keep seeking. Continue searching. Run straight for that stone, confident that the Lord will take care of what you cannot handle on your own.

This is not the end, my friend. Oh no. We have just begun.

“He is not here, for he is risen, as he said. Come, see the place where he lay. Then go quickly, and tell his disciples that he is risen from the dead, and behold, he is going before you to Galilee; there you will see him.” —Matthew 28:6-7

I can barely move. Our Easter celebration was a large gathering that kept me on my feet for hours, with the last of the guests leaving at 1:00 AM. And yet, I was up at 7 AM and went quickly to the coop to feed the hens. Afterward, it was a quick trip to the brooder to care for the chicks, then to the laundry room to feed the cats.

Finally, it was a quick trip to the coffee maker to grab a much-needed cup of caffeine before settling into prayer.

Because this is what women do.

We go quickly.

We see all the needs around us, and off we go. Even after just 6 hours of sleep, we go quickly. To our people. To our chickens. But most important of all, to our risen Lord.

How do you sleep in when Jesus has been raised from the dead?

But today we rejoice in more than the resurrection. We rejoice that Jesus continues to desire a relationship with us. He didn’t rise and disappear. He rises and remains.

Wherever this Easter Monday finds you, I pray you continue to seek Jesus. That no matter how tired, discouraged, or distracted your heart may be, you recognize the miracle of reality; that He rose so that he could continue to walk with you.

Today is not the end, but the beginning. Jesus is here for you. He wants to be in a relationship with you. Do not drag your feet, do not grow drowsy. Grab a cold brew and your Bible and run to meet your risen Lord.

Go quickly, and you will see Him.